The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
