mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
