I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Acid is not a monday night drug
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Randomize
