Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
