no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
is that a dick in a sweater?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
