Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
