I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
