Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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