I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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