Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
