We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
this hospital has no fireball
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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