so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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