u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
