Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
