He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
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