I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
handjob tips. give me some.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
