Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
you win again, gameday.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
