took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
How does one acquire holy water?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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