How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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