I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
