just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
