just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
We're using joints as your birthday candles
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
