she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
