I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
