giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
