No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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