She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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