Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
