we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
