I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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