i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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