Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
you will always have a special place in my vag
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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