When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
