you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
