Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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