I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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