I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i drank out of a bidet.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
