I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
