genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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