People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
