When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
