how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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