SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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