Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Randomize
