Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
