dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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