Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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