You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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