escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
