The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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