So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
