I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
She announced her abortion via fbk
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
You pole danced in your parka.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
