Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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